Monday Motivation: How To Stop Comparing To Them All

 “Too many people undervalue what they are and overvalue what they are not.”

Can I be completely real with you?

I am just as guilty of comparing myself to others as the next person.

I hope that is a relief to all of you sporty sisters out there who fall trap to the comparison bug.

Honestly, how can you not nowadays? I mean just take a moment right now to get perspective on your life and the time you may spend quietly comparing yourself to others.

Maybe it’s when you scroll through other girl’s Instagram accounts, or when you repin that dream body on Pinterest. Perhaps comparison pops up when you are skimming through trash mags, or glancing past the mirror and mentally picking yourself apart. It could be signing up to the latest and greatest fad diets, following “skinny” blogs and becoming sucked into the commercials that pretty much tell you to be everything other than yourself. *Phew I need to take a breath* But as you can see, the list goes on!

For those of you who constantly fall victim to the comparison trap, I really don’t blame you, because it surrounds us wherever we look.

Take it from me…

Being in the modelling industry since the age of 15, I know just how easy it can be to fall into the poisonous trap of picking yourself apart and comparing what you have to others.

Now I have matured and have weaned my way out of the industry I am able to see clearly that I was being immersed into an environment where comparing, contentment, self-glorification, gratification and self-approval hinged on what others thought of you and what THEY perceived as idealistic and “beautiful”.

Although I had quite a strong will and overcame the many burdens within the industry, I now find myself cringing in sadness when I see young women putting such immense pressure on themselves to look a certain way.

Since my time out of school, I have noticed a significant leap in social media that hypes self-glorification and provides a thriving foundation for toxic thoughts to run rampant. I feel like I am witnessing a revolution where insecurity, depression, inadequacy and self-destruction are all soaring to new heights, ravaging the mind, heart and spirit of young women, and even men, all wanting to be anything and everything other than what they were born as. 

The feeling of inadequacy will start eating away at people with toxic thoughts like:

I am not good enough…

I wish I had this…

I am useless…

I am ugly…

I have nothing to offer…

I used to look like this…

I will never be loved the way I want to be…

All these terrible and untrue thoughts slowly and silently shape our perceptions and we find ourselves coming up with unrealistic and self-centred ideologies. But the irony of it all is that while we are trying to “better” ourselves, we are completely rejecting our value, gifts and blessings that make us who we are, and that is UNIQUE!

When I catch on to my own negative and comparing thoughts that begin to fester and breed through my mind, I get to the source of what’s causing it and I cut myself away from the things that are making me feel that way.

Whether that is by eating healthier (we all know that un-nourishing food effects our brain function), ignoring reading those alluring trash mags, or even fasting from Instagram. I make sure that when those negative thoughts pop up through any of these mediums, I use it as an opportunity to reverse them and shower myself with the truth.

What is the truth? 

Well, it’s quite simple. We are all living in a vessel, our body. But what gives us our characteristics, personality, deep emotions, thoughts, and so forth… is our soul – our substance! Your soul is what makes you, you! And without a soul we are but a corpse. Would you agree?

So, if that’s the case… why are we so caught up in judging our physical appearance while completely neglecting our soul?

Personally, I believe it all comes down to those darn self-destructive thoughts!

It’s about time we take them into captivity!!!

Some helpful tips I can give to stop self-criticism are to:

1. Be conscious of your thoughts. Make yourself aware of when you are comparing yourself and ask yourself why? And what good do these thoughts and energy serve?
2. Reflect gratitude. Make a list of things that make you thankful in this life.
3. Be cool with imperfection. If you don’t learn to be content with your imperfections, you will drive yourself insane. When you focus on your imperfections, that is all you will see and the only reason you can always see it, is because you’re always looking for it!
4. Stop being so nosy. The grass is always going to look greener when you peep over the hedge to your neighbours, so don’t bother peeping and focus on your own strengths and passions!
5. Just keep walking. Your life holds many incredible opportunities and adventures just as anyone else’s path does. It may just be in different timing with its own different bumps and it may take the long way, but you’re going to get to where you’re going as long as you keep walking.
6. Love what you’ve got. There is this illusion that “more” equates to “happiness”. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you don’t learn to appreciate and love what you have, it will never be enough and you will never be happy because you will always find ways to compare what others have to what you don’t. Look at all you have, and know you are blessed and unique!
7. If all else fails, distract yourself. Stray away from the “thinspiration” accounts, and click unfollow on those Instagram accounts, Facebook pages and subscriptions that leave you feeling uneasy and avoid the magazine aisle!!! Do whatever it takes to get yourself into a peaceful headspace until your feeling strong and solid in your truths.

If you battle with comparison, start to quit it from today and live by this truth; that true beauty comes from within – despite what the world screams at you.

At Lorna Jane HQ, we did a “How To Stop Comparing To Them All” drill. The girls and I affirmed the things that we love about ourselves in order to outweigh the negative self-destructive beliefs that leak into our thoughts.

This is a powerful, cheerful and simple exercise that is nourishing for the soul. Do your own anti-comparison drill and take a moment to think of what qualities you love about yourself. Put pen to paper or write it in your iPhone. Read it over, believe it and settle in these truths.

Because when you focus on accepting who you are and what you were blessed and born with, there will be no need for “mirror, mirror on the wall” thoughts. Embracing the person you are will shrivel the cancer of comparison, letting you live your life as you were meant to, with happiness beaming out of your face.

At the end of the day, there really is nothing more attractive than a woman who is comfortable in her perfect imperfections and guess what? No one in this entire world can do a better job of being you, than you!

It’s time to accept and love your unique qualities…for good!

Rock what you’ve got girl!

Love Bec xx