Many of us are far too worried about what people think and let the opinions of others define our own worth and value. Our past mistakes dictate our future choices and we allow our flaws and imperfections to control us.

In the end, the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. Friendships change, colleagues move on, relationships end and new connections are made all the time. The only constant in your life is you.

You need to spend the rest of your life with yourself so wouldn’t you rather make it an enjoyable relationship instead of being your own worst enemy?

Accept who you are

There is no one in this world like you, right down to your fingerprint! You are completely unique and that makes you one special lady – so isn’t it about time you owned it?

Take a moment to scan yourself and make a list of everything you’re struggling to accept, from your past actions down to your appearance. Then one by one ask yourself, “how can I change how I FEEL about this?”

If you are holding onto your past then perhaps now is the time for self-forgiveness. If you aren’t as fit as you would like to be? Commit to a new health and fitness routine.

Now it’s pointless picking on aspects of yourself you cannot change… like the length of your legs or the shape of your nose – so do yourself a favour accept them.

You only have one body and it does an incredible job!

Let go of perfection

If you are waiting to love yourself when you lose 5kg, find your ideal partner or secure that dream job (a.k.a unattainable image of perfection), you’re going to be waiting a very long time.

You will never reach the image of perfection you create in your mind and it will only leave you feeling disappointed when you fail to live up to your own unrealistic expectations. Even if you do lose 5kg, your instant happy fix will only last as long as the next desirable ‘if only…’ comes around.

Instead of aiming for perfection, simply aim to be the best person you can possibly be. Now, doesn’t that feel so much better!

Develop respect for yourself

The more you respect and live according to your own values, the less you care about the opinions of others. Start impressing yourself, not everyone else!

When you know what you stand for and believe in, you speak up when your values are compromised, you stand up for what is right for you and you don’t tolerate others mistreating you.

It’s only when you don’t know who you are you that you become easily swayed by external remarks, criticism, attitudes, opinions and judgments…

It doesn’t matter what others think of you as long as you know who you are and live according to your standards. If you can sleep at night with a clear conscience and you treat others well, that is all that matters.

Make self-care a priority

Failing to make yourself a priority is essentially saying you are not important.

You have a choice in every moment to decide the best action for you.

• Self-care is taking yourself out for a jog even when you have a pile of excuses.
• Self-care is creating a morning practice and choosing to set up your mindset for the day instead of scanning social media and emails, filling your mind with everyone else’s agendas.
• Self-care is choosing a salad over burger and chips because you know it nourishes your body.

Begin loving yourself by accepting, respecting and valuing who you are mind, body and soul. You are a beautiful woman with a unique personality and incredible gifts and those who know you and love you appreciate you just as you are. Get to know and love yourself and you will feel the same.

Debbie helps women find inner calm, self-acceptance and true confidence through discovering who they are. As a mind detox therapist, coach, trainer, speaker and writer she inspires women to heal their part, bust through their negative self image and learn to love themselves.

Her passion to spread the word of positive body image fuels her global commitment to change the way women see themselves. She is the ‘Think Fit’ expert for Women’s Fitness Magazine and has been featured in Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Dolly, Women’s Day and Australian Natural Health. Her online TV show, Detox your Mind, reaches women in over 10 countries

For more self-love and mind detoxing techniques, immerse yourself in Debbie’s Detox Your Mind TV channel and subscribe to a “no-mean girl zone” state of mind. For daily updates follow Debbie Spellman via her social channels: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.