Grief: [noun] intense sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death.
Sorrow: [noun] a feeling of distress caused by loss, disappointment or other misfortune.
If there’s one thing I’ve leant about dealing with grief, it’s that people don’t change – things change people.
Grief is one of those things – it’s a catalyst for change. It’s an uncertain shock in life that comes hurling around the corner, out of nowhere, and transforms you – no matter how prepared you might be, no matter how strong you think you are.
We can’t decide what comes along, or when it arrives, but we can choose how we want to be changed by it – and the way in which we think about it. It’s easy to build a fortress of blankets and shield yourself from the reality of it all – (and that’s ok for a while) but nothing can protect you forever. Soon you begin to realise that the world keeps spinning, flowers keep growing, the sun keeps shining, shops keep opening and the radio keeps playing. No matter how empty or lonely you feel – people don’t stop. Life doesn’t wait. Nothing can fill the new hole in your heart and nothing can take away the pain but there are little things you can do for self-repair. I personally think you have to want to feel good again & with a little effort; brightness will start filtering through the cracks.
Here are my four favourite things guaranteed not to make you feel worse…
Something warm & hearty to sooth your insides and keep you nourished. It’s important to remember to eat, even if you don’t feel hungry & there’s nothing easier to cook or consume than a big bowl of soup!
Read a book
Something motivational and inspirational – a book that nurtures a positive mindset. Don’t be embarrassed to seek self-help.
Write it out
Taylor Swift likes to shake it off, but we think the best therapy is to write it out. It’s such a great way of dealing with emotional struggles and getting things off your chest – or simply, out of your head and onto a page.
It’s hard to find peace and stillness at the best of times, especially while dealing with grief. Meditation brings calmness and clarity, which will help you channel your thoughts and feelings into streams of positive affirmation.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that grief comes in many different forms and affects everyone in entirely unusual ways. For some, talking to a close girlfriend helps, for others, professional counsel is needed and a few even prefer a yarn with the services assistant at Woolworths. It’s important to treat your own grief separately from others, even if you are all dealing with exactly same incident. Remember that age-old saying – time heals all wounds? I’ve never been sure about this, but I am sure that time takes us further away from our wounds and one day, we forget what the pain was like.
We can’t choose the music of life, but we can choose how we dance to it. The most important thing is deciding to dance again.
Kelly Bastaja is our very own in-house motivational mantra devotee. With a background in fashion, styling and all things arty, her dreamy vocabulary is another trick up her sleeve. Kelly works here at Lorna Jane HQ as a Creative & Content Specialist and inspires us all to believe that anything is possible. With a keen eye for street style and love of berry-topped Bircher bowls, Kelly has a certain ‘je ne said quoi’ that keeps our office lively, creative and aspirational.