Two words that sum up the last 5 years of my life perfectly.
Now, before you jump to conclusions, these words don’t pop up because the last few years have been hard. Quite the opposite. Things beyond my wildest dreams have happened to me.
I married the love of my life.
I made two really REALLY cute kids.
I found my passion working as a Health Coach.
I was good at it.
I started getting recognised for it, published, hired and even sometimes… praised!
I got to retire my husband so he could find his passion.
But I’ve been living in a state of self offensive shame and not fully allowing myself to bask in the light of these achievements.
Because I suffer from Imposter Syndrome. Something that was fully highlighted to me when I stumbled across the website of Tanya Geisler who is an expert on the subject.
Tanya explains this state of dis-ease (my word for not feeling the ease of these heart warming life events) as one that rang extremely true to me in many ways.
I often point out my flaws when complimented.
I apologise for existing.
I use self deprecating humour when I’m uncomfortable with being seen.
And I’ve not only done it over the past few years, I’ve done it my whole life.
I believe I’m inadequate, I believe I’m alone in feeling this way, I believe I’m not enough, I believe for some I’m too much, I believe no one cares what I have to say, I believe I’m unoriginal, I believe I’m not ready and I believe that someone will do it better than me… Whatever it is.
The last part stings my heart. Because that’s the biggest hurdle to jump over.
In many parts of my life, I have thought – why me?
Why do I get to marry this incredible man? Someone else would be a perfect wife when I am much less than perfect.
Why do I get to live my passion and be paid for it? Someone else is smarter, wiser, funnier and better than I am.
Why do I get to be happy when there is so much suffering in the world. Why do I deserve it?
But the biggest realisation I’ve had over the last few months of really working through these beliefs is that I’m not alone. So many of us feel this way, and as someone who is stepping into their light instead of shying away, I want to help you feel it too.
Imagine that? Feeling deserving. Feeling ‘enough’? Feeling like you’re doing good?
In my short experience in this state of warmth, here are my tips:
:: Believe people when they tell you how truly amazing you are. They aren’t saying it to be nice, they aren’t saying it because the opposite is true. They think you’re incredible. Believe it.
:: Realise that you’re ready for everything that you deserve. Repeating: I am ready and it IS my time daily had such a profound effect on my complex that even the day I started affirming myself, an opportunity of mammoth proportions landed in my lap. Hello energy!
:: Have gratitude for what you’ve achieved. Don’t say it was just luck, don’t say it wasn’t a big deal and don’t give others credit for your hard work. Be grateful for your part in the successes in your life and even the spectacular failures that led you to a better path.
But most of all remember, we are all just winging it when it comes to life, business and love. We don’t get a personalised instruction manual for every situation and most of the time we have zero clue what’s going on.
Enjoy the ride.
Do you have any questions about Imposter Syndrome? Let me know in the comments below!
Ange Simson is a female health and happiness coach, a writer, speaker, mum of one and cheerleader for wellbeing. You can find out more about her on her blog, www.thegratitudeproject.com or her Instagram & Facebook Page.