There are many factors that prevent you from sticking to your New Year’s resolutions and achieving those big, beautiful goals.
The biggest hindrance of all is your daily negative self-talk.
This little voice in your head holds you back from going for that promotion, tells you that you’re not skilled enough and says you can’t get paid well for doing what you love. Time and time again, it distracts you from moving boldly towards your dreams.
Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. We pick out our flaws in the mirror and tear apart our personality traits. In extreme cases, we repress ourselves to the point of not knowing who we are any more, except by the labels we give ourselves, such as shy, introverted, a failure, unfit or just not good enough.
So, how do you break through this inner enemy that stops you from believing in yourself and holds you back from going after what you want?
The first step is to get real about what is going on in your head.
Facing your negative self-talk is confronting, however avoiding the truth about how you talk to yourself is far worse (because nothing can change).
Sometimes you may find you are strong enough to overpower this voice, yet the reality is that this self-loathing and self-destructive enemy often steals your peace, joy and contentment. Although controlling, this voice is playing in your mind – it’s not tangible.
Writing out all of your thoughts on paper is calling the invisible into the visible.
Suddenly, it’s all there, raw and real for you to digest, reflect and change. By challenging and being kind to this voice, it is possible to push through the prison of your mind and experience more freedom in your life.
When you read over your notebook in the morning, you may notice a few things.
- Just how negative you are! Ugh, it feels yucky. Yet you’ve got to feel it baby.
- How much your mind jumps around from the past to the future, regret to worry, what if’s and if only’s, doubt and self-criticism and a whole lot of judgment…. WOW, all of this in one day! It’s no wonder you are feeling exhausted, moody and stressed!
So, what to do with these negative statements?
Start by making a decision that you no longer want to think this way. This decision is a powerful way to draw a line in the sand by saying to yourself, ‘this is not serving me anymore and I will not allow myself to believe these thoughts’.
Next, challenge each negative thought about yourself. Are these really true? If you find yourself saying ‘yes’, then ask, ‘is it true every time?’ The truth is no.
Yes, there are times you may act or feel this way, but in the grand scheme of life, you are good at certain things, there are times you do look beautiful, you are liked by others, your friends accept you for who you are and you are motivated to exercise when you put your mind to it. Your thoughts are not absolute statements – they are just thoughts.
Be present. All of your negative thoughts are about future scenarios or past events. They may relate to one minute ago or 10 years ago. Either way, let them go. Practice mindfulness and bring yourself out of your head and back into your body through the power of deep breathing, focus and attention.
Most importantly of all, be kind. The voice in your head is like a six-year old version of you. She has been hurt, rejected, confused and afraid, all because she didn’t know how to process the world around her. You, on the other hand, are not a six-year old girl.
Thank your inner mean girl for her words, appreciate that she is trying to protect you and then gently put your hand up to her face and say ‘honey, I ain’t listening to you anymore!’ Push past the resistance your inner voice creates, challenge its statements and move towards your goals, dreams, aspirations and desires with fire in your belly and courage in your heart.
The moment you choose not to listen to that voice is the moment you gain back your power.
Want more from this mentor, life coach and all-round beam of positivity? Check out Debbie’s website Detox Your Mind (her TV series is a must-see). Or make friends over on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Struggling with your inner Mean Girl?
Have some burning BELIEVE questions you want answered?
Leave your questions in the comment box below! You never know, yours may get selected in the live chat with Debbie this Sunday!