All relationships require regular love and attention, just like a plant. The more your water it, tend to the soil, give it the right amount of love and sunshine the more it will thrive and grow. And the more fulfilling your relationships will be.
Here are 5 ways I tend to my friendship soil.
1.HOLD SPACE FOR EACH OTHER
When your friend speaks, hold space for her to express whatever she needs to. It’s not your job to ‘fix’ her, or ‘diagnose’ her problems … just be there, and listen with both ears and make sure she feels seen, held and heard. Don’t interrupt and give your opinion just hold space for her to fully express. Sometimes all we need is for someone to listen.
2.BE IMPECCABLE WITH KEEPING YOUR WORD
If you say you’ll do something, do it. If you say you’ll be somewhere, be there. The simple act of following through on your words is so powerful, and helps build a strong foundation of trust and loyalty in any relationship.
3.REMEMBER THE SMALL THINGS
The littlest things can make the biggest impact! Take note of the things that mean a lot to your friends but that are easy to overlook or forget when life gets full. Has she got an important performance review coming up at work? Maybe she finds the month of August tough because it’s the anniversary of her mum’s passing? Perhaps she’s been dealing with an ongoing health niggle that’s been getting her down? Make a point of asking her how she’s feeling about it, and genuinely listen to her answer. If there’s a specific date that’s important to her, I like to pop a note in my calendar so I don’t forget. That way, I’m reminded to send her a supportive text or a bunch of flowers when it matters most.
4.CELEBRATE THEIR WINS
When we lift each other up, the whole world is strengthened and filled with love! So don’t hold back in handing out meaningful compliments. Love the meal they just cooked you? Tell them. Proud of their latest blog post? Sing it, out loud. Inspired by their current fitness efforts? Shout her praises from the freaking rooftop! (By the way, if you feel awkward getting all gushy, don’t let that stop you — you can always send your thoughts via text!)
5.DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
We’re all ‘full’ (I choose not to use the word busy) at times. We all have stressors in our life. We all get tired, frazzled, overwhelmed, premenstrual and just plain cranky. So if your friend does something that upsets you, before you react, ask yourself: is this actually personal? Could it, perhaps, be explained by a bad day? So often, the slights we perceive — a harsh word, a forgotten phone call, a late arrival — aren’t personal at all. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt, release your hurt, and let it go.
For more epic friendship and relationship tips, trick and advice make sure you pre-order my next book Open Wide The Radically Real Guide To Deep love, Rocking Relationships and Soulful sex.
Now I would love to hear from you, do you have any tips on how to be an epic friend?
Share them in the comments below and together let’s create a long list of ideas we can come back to time and time again for inspiration.
In her signature straight-talking style, Melissa teaches women how to unlock their full potential, master their inner Mean Girl, smash through limiting beliefs, and ditch the self-doubt so that they can start living the life of their dreams.
Named a ‘self-help guru’ by Elle Magazine her mission is to inspire women to create a heart-centred life one that’s wildly wealthy, fabulously healthy and bursting with love.